Note to Self

Do not ever take your 1 year old twins by yourself without babies' daddy or another kid-free adult to a semi-trendy but not totally un-kid-friendly cafe at lunchtime on a Friday where a stroller cannot fit therefore you are lugging both kids in your arms from down the street because there is not one parking space available and then you are trying to hold them both while you wait 20 min. for a table and your twins had decided to forego their morning nap and it's past their lunchtime so they are starving and Twin A melts down in hysterics and uses all 23 pounds of her being to wrestle out of your arms while you are also holding Twin B along with a diaper bag and two snack cups and you can't let either twin down because neither is capable of standing without wanting to crawl around on this semi-trendy restaurant's floor and people are staring at you without hiding their sympathy and you are trying to shut Twin A up with all the bribery items you made sure to pack including but not limited to raisins, goldfish, pacifiers, sippy cups and a tube of lip gloss all the while you wind up publicly humiliating yourself and your friend and her son who you abruptly bid farewell to the second you finally got seated because Twin A made it very clear she was not accepting bribes today and hated your guts and you furiously calmly walk out of the restaurant while leaving Twin A's coat behind and she continues to wrestle you like an alligator as you walk out the door with Twin A under one arm and Twin B under the other arm and you are using all your might not to drop both of them on their heads in the middle of the intersection while you are sure the entire restaurant is watching you from the window.

And I thought the gym was hard.

Sorry Jackie and Will.  Lunch in my kitchen next Friday is on us.

P.S. I need wine.