Christmas Outtakes

To mom & dad,

WHY do you insist on inviting this ugly man to all of our Christmas parties?   Did you not understand that we do not like this guy after we screamed bloody murder at the Children's Museum and then again at Vicky's and then proceeded to say, "No no Santa" every time we saw someone who resembled him, a fake version of him in someone's lawn, or caught a glimpse of him on TV??  ARE YOU NOT LISTENING TO US?"

From Lil & Di

To Lil & Di,

Clearly we were listening but you rendered us deaf somewhere back at the Children's Museum.

From mom & dad

"Do not even THINK about touching me, old man"

December 26, 2011: Two Years

It's hard to believe that two years ago today I said goodbye to one of the greatest women I will ever come to know...my mom.  It's been such a crazy week of holiday cheer but I never cease to forget the 'day after.'  I think this year it sort of hit me what we really went through two years ago, first losing my dad and then my mom, right during the holiday season.  Then it was just a blur and even last year I think I was still in a bit of a daze.  But this year it became more clear. I don't know why, and it wasn't that the realization made me sad.  I think it made me more grateful for what I have and helped motivate me to get through this past month.

When I blogged about what I miss most about my dad, I said the way he made life seem so simple.  So what do I miss most about my mom?  I tried to ponder this thought over the past couple of days, and really I couldn't pick just one.  I miss EVERYTHING about her.  I really do.  I not only lost my mom, the person I depended on, but I also lost a friend.  I could call her about funny stuff, serious stuff, irrelevant stuff, etc.  I miss her smile and her laugh...both of which were genuine to the core.  

It might sound bizarre, but this year I somehow feel closer to my mom than ever.  I never was able to relate to her as a mother when she was alive as I never became one until she was gone.  But this past month, as I was digging around in the attic for her old Christmas stuff, using most of it to decorate her (now my) home, while listening to her favorite Christmas music (Michael Buble and Dean Martin), wrapping presents in the kitchen (using her old wrapping paper), watching my kids play around me, fire on, and cookies in the oven...I felt her all around me.  I felt the same thrill and satisfaction of buying my kids their favorite toys, and then getting to watch their happy faces as they ripped into them on Christmas morning.  And then I set up her dining room table as she would to host Christmas morning brunch, a tradition that dates back to when I was a little girl.  It's not that I was doing these things in remembrance of her; it's that I am finally entering the stage of life that her and I never were able to bond over.  Granted, I was surrounded by all of her stuff!  But, I am proud that almost daily I catch myself doing something that makes me say, "Wow, I am definitely my mother's daughter!"  There is no one I would rather be.

Before my mom died she gave us one piece of advice and that was to not take life so seriously.  So mom, how's this for starters....

You, on the other hand, seemed to have had it down pat 30 years ago.  That comes as no surprise.

I miss you daily and dearly.  You would be proud of the 'man bag' that Matt got for Christmas this year.  And thanks to Krista, my girls received a gift from you, a cupcake set that you had given 2 of to Addie.  Court was gifted many fabulous things, and I remembered the bakery cookie to give to Steph for her birthday.  We all learned way more from you than you ever knew.  Thank you for teaching us the important things in life.

This Week's Top Ten

10.  Piling 4 children under 3 years old (Addie, Ellie, Lil & Di) into the minivan to head to the Children's Museum in Indianapolis.

9.  Getting pulled over on the way there for speeding (65 in a 55 down a hill...whatev) and having the cop inform me that the the license plate that is on my minivan is the one that should actually be on Matt's Buick.  When I misinterpreted what he was telling me (I thought he meant I had Matt's registration form instead of mine), he yelled at me, "Ma'am, you are not listening to me!" and slapped me with a ticket AND a warning!

8.  Discovering the next day after yelling at Matt for switching our license plates that the cop was WRONG and he somehow couldn't interpret that 2873 (my #) is not the same thing as 2874 (Matt's #.)

7.  Realizing that December just wouldn't be complete without a falsely accused brush with the law!  (Do I really need to remind you of my December 2010 Nordstrom incident?)

6.  Matt giving the girls a shower for the 1st time.

They are definitely going to kill me for this one later in life.

5.  After having introduced the "potty" this week, thinking it's safe to say I can hold off for a couple more months as I caught Lilly using it as a spot to guzzle her milk and Di using it as a carrier for her sippy cup.

4.  Watching the girls have a great time on their (and my) very 1st Polar Express adventure!

3.  Leaving the girls, a dog, a Diet Dr. Pepper and a half eaten roast beef sandwich in the family room while I went to retrieve a napkin and came back to the girls taking turns gulping my Diet Dr. Pepper and the dog licking his chops after eating the sandwich.  When all 3 girls noticed my arrival they leaped back to their seats!!

2.  While baking cookies, I noticed that the girls were perfecting their imaginary play skills by having a little tea party.  As I looked up with this adoring smile on my face gazing at my well-behaved children one more time, I suddenly noticed that they were drinking real water.  After following the wet tracks to where they got the water... I about barfed when I landed at the toilet.

1.  While in line at the museum to visit Santa, I reminisced about our beautiful visit with the big guy last year, which the photographer caught so well on camera:

This year, after having purchased a $12 photo and ornament to capture this year's special moment, I approach the big guy and turn around to search for my children who are running backwards and screaming their heads off.  Instead of Santa opening his arms to us, he says, "I don't hold children who don't want to be held", while the photographer approaches me and says, "You will get a full refund.  Goodbye."

Luckily my sister captured this beautiful moment on camera and I will use the $12 to do some photo editing.

December 8, 2011: Two Years

Today marks the 2nd anniversary of my dad's passing.  As often as I think, "I can't believe my girls are almost two!" (they are 22 months old today), I also can't believe that it has been two years since I have seen or talked to my dad.  

As with every other day, I miss him immensely.  If I could pick one thing that I miss the most, it would be the way that he made life seem so easy.  Life is not easy, not at all.  And it wasn't easy for my dad as he and my mom were both battling cancer.  But he made it seem so.  Never complaining, never feeling sorry for himself, never giving up hope, never missing a chance to count his blessings.  It's hard to continue striving for that sense of ease without the person who conveyed it so effortlessly.

In the past, if I complained, felt sorry for myself, moped, or mentioned anything negative, my dad would put me in my place.  But he didn't do it in a callous drill sergeant kind of a way, he did it in a way that made you feel like you could conquer the world.  He instilled confidence in us when we felt defeated.  He directed our minds to what really mattered instead of getting bogged down by the things that did not.  He pushed us to be better people, to work harder, to not lose sight of our goals, but at the same time to have fun.  He was a fun man.  He was a family man.  He was a prankster.  He brought such life to a room.  But I didn't notice all of this until now.  Now that he is gone.  Then he was just my dad.  Now he is my role model.

Today, on Dec. 8, I feel content.  I might even say that I feel happy.  I realize that just because two years ago was a sad day, does not mean that today has to be a sad day.  I woke up to two smiling kids and a coffee hand delivered to me (thanks Andrea!  And Krista who delivered another one to me later!)  And I am sitting in my parents' home that is now the Bajorek home, listening to Christmas music and decorating the house, and my husband assured me that he drove 60 mph without passing a single car on his way to work in Bloomington today. There is not much to complain about.

Yesterday was a kickstart to this good mood I believe.  They were small things, but added up together they meant the world to me.  For starters, I ran into Jobe's mom who I spoke to for a while. I was so happy to see her and know she is doing ok.  She asked how I was doing, and I asked how she was doing.  We felt each other's pain.  After that, I took the flowers from my parents grave to have them refreshed for the Christmas season.  The women in there knew that this was a tough time of year, and had them ready for me immediately when it often takes a couple of days.  Then I went to my aunt's store and ran into my parents' good friend who got to play with my kids for a while.  I love seeing my parents' friends who, with the exception of bumping into them every once in a while, I never see anymore.  After that, a woman approached me at the store introducing herself as a friend of Jobe's mom who had read this blog, and she brought a smile to my face as she doted over my kids.  And finally, we went to pick out our Christmas tree last night at the place my dad always got it...Scherle Tree Farm.  My dad was a fixture at this tree farm for as long as I can remember.  And yesterday when Matt and I showed up, Don (the owner) knew that we would want the tallest tree in the bunch.  When we picked it out, he insisted on delivering and setting it up for us.  Besides feeling completely spoiled, I felt completely blessed.  The community has not forgotten my parents. Their legacy continues, and that makes me happy.

To my dad, I miss you dearly.  My girls now call you "Gampa Yaarwy."  They might look like Bajoreks, but they have my sass.  You would be so proud.

My dad and I on Christmas morning 30 years ago; just about the same age as my girls today.

Chicago in December: Viewer Discretion is Advised

This past weekend we embarked on an adults-only trip to Chicago.  The adults included me, Matt, Phil, Krista, Mark, Steph, Courtney and Lauren Becher.  'Chicago in December' was a tradition my parents began many many years ago and we decided to give it a go once again.  In comparison, our new agenda fared pretty similar to the one we always used to set:  Friday pizza, Saturday coffee then shopping followed by a nice dinner and completing the night with dessert at Ghirardellis.

There were a few exceptions, one being the time I spent shopping for my kids instead of myself.  Another being our Saturday night dinner, many details that I cannot divulge.  Let's just say that I have not laughed that hard in ages!!  To give you some insight, all 8 of us were contemplating whether to fall down the stairs and sue the restaurant (Becher's idea), jump out the window behind us and make a run for it, or prepare our hands to wash dishes in order to pay the bill that we feared was coming.  Luckily, our math (and a particular menu price) was incorrect and we walked out with our morals and dignity in tact.

And one final exception to the weekend, a picture that I am SURE would not have been taken in the presence of my parents.  Sadly, this was the only photo I captured the entire weekend!  And let the record state that it was Becher who requested this photo with this man, um woman, um SHE-MAN.

WARNING:  DO NOT ZOOM IN!

While we were away it was reported that the girls were on their best behavior so I rewarded them with an early Christmas gift!  

Di & Lil

"Di, I told you that if we were good mommy would bring us back a toy!"

"Ha ha...SUCKERS!!!"

Totally irresistible

Reflections

As of late I have been trying to keep my blog light-hearted, gearing more towards poking fun at my kids or myself.  But here we are on December 1 and my heart feels heavy.  I think for the rest of my life the beginning of December will always feel this way.  But this year December has been made even a bit harder as this week I said goodbye to a high school friend, Jobe, who was without a doubt the funniest of all our friends, perhaps the funniest guy in any group of friends.  He was loud and obnoxious and had a crazy energy about him.  He was just Jobe.  For those who knew him, you know what I mean. For those who don't, picture an Adam Sandler of sorts, but take that humor and double it.

During the past couple of days, all of our friends gathered for meals and drinks.  We had a very tight group of friends from high school, one that I have been told is rare.  Many of these people I see all of the time, some of them I hadn't seen in years.  But as we gathered, it felt as if just yesterday we were back in high school.  We told plenty of Jobe stories and reminisced about our crazy high school days.  It was therapeutic on so many levels.  Since my own parents have passed, I feel myself sometimes wanting to hide instead of engage...I just thought that was the easier thing to do rather than being faced with people who don't know what to say.  But over the course of these past few days, as I "shot the shit" with my old friends, I found myself laughing and smiling and thoroughly enjoying everyone's company.  I even talked to the son of my dad's best friend for a very long time and HE told ME how therapeutic it was for HIM to talk to ME!  I hadn't thought of it from another's perspective, how plenty of people knew (and loved) my parents and that by talking to me, I might allow them to heal.  It was a lesson I learned.

So last night I spent reflecting on all of this.  And here is what kept popping up.  Less than a month ago one of my good high school friends got married.  It was a wedding that Jobe was also attending.  Matt and I decided not to go to the wedding because it was out of town and we would need to arrange babysitters and so on so forth.  I was bummed we were missing it, but I shrugged my shoulders and called it a day.  We chose not to reunite with my old friends.  But less than a month later, we ended up reuniting with everyone at a much more somber occasion.  I made it a priority to go to the funeral.  Nothing could have stopped me from attending.  However, I should have also made it a priority to go to the wedding.  It could have been another memory added to the long list of memories I already have of Jobe, but instead I was 'too tired' to put forth the effort to make that weekend happen.

Now don't get me wrong, I know that not every single decision in my head needs to be controlled by the thought of "what if that is the last time I see this person?"  Although my track record with this probably allows me to ask this more often than not.  However, I realize that we can't possibly do EVERYTHING that comes across our calendar, but what I don't want to do is be stuck in a bitter battle as to whether it is worth the effort of finding babysitters, packing, and traveling vs. spending a fun evening celebrating with friends.  It's a no-brainer, and the next time I'm faced with this decision, I will most certainly pick the latter.

To my friend, Jobe, you will be missed good buddy.

This pic is an oldie but goodie from my friend Shannon's wedding in 2004.  Jobe is back left.

What I am Thankful for the Day Before Thanksgiving

1)  My kids - without whom I might have actually been able to talk on the phone today to a friend without having to lock myself in a bathroom in order to hear her amidst my kids screaming.

2)  Sharpie markers that have caps on them - without which all of my kids' clothes would have been ruined considering they threw a marker and post-it notes in the dryer before I ran it.

3)  My garbage disposal - without which might not have covered me head to toe after it exploded last night's shrimp fettucini alfredo all over me, the counter, the sink, the floor, and the window.

4)  Grandparents - without whom I would not be able to deposit my kids onto tonight after a week (oh wait, it's only Wednesday...it feels like it's been a week...) of battling 2 girls with 103 degree temps and major MAJOR fussiness.  The only thing between us and them is a 6 hr. road trip.

But seriously....how cute are they???!!!!  HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Gobble gobble

Time to Fess Up

Alright people, who taught my daughter how to use an iPhone??  I know I didn't, and I know Matt didn't, and I find it hard to believe that a 21 month old just so happened to discover that if she drags her finger along an arrow pointing to the right that she will be granted access to all sorts of buttons to push!!  I don't even allow her to use my phone and the only reason she had it here was b/c I was trying to fold the last of the laundry!

I guess if no one fesses up then it's confirmed...my daughter is a genius.

The 5 Days of November

"The 5 Days of November" is a new song I created based on "The 12 Days of Christmas".  My version goes something like this....

Four stomach flus....three months waiting on our washer...two flat tires....and a dead car battery in a pear tree.

Pretty catchy, eh?  My inspiration runs deep, obviously.

If you live in Jasper and haven't been struck by the stomach flu yet...close this browser IMMEDIATELY.  It's that contagious.  Matt had it first, then Lilly and Diana had it simultaneously, and I was the last victim.  I still can't decide whether it was more fun to have the flu myself or to clean up the aftermath of two flu-stricken toddlers.  Has your child ever experienced an up-the-back poop?  Take that mess times a thousand times two kids.  Not an inch of their cribs went unscathed.  I had the option of cleaning it up or moving, and since we just moved...I had to clean it up.

However, I was rewarded for my efforts with a brand new washing machine.  Yes, the same washing machine that I posted about a few months ago.  The one that we happened to order in August; had to return after it was delivered broken; got into multiple phone fights with customer service people; after 2 months of waiting was told a replacement washer would be rushed to us just to find out 3 weeks later one was never ordered; and finally just 2 days after the flu left our house receiving our brand new washing machine with a gift card from the store.  Looking on the bright side, the loaner they had given us and now taken away is full of diarrhea. 

On about day 2 of that same week Matt calls from Hucks stating his car had a flat tire.  I was too busy cleaning up poop to care.  On about day 4 of that week Matt calls from Walmart stating my car has a flat tire.  I was too busy vomiting every hour to care.  Last Monday he spent hours at Big O tire getting his tire replaced.  Last Tuesday I spent hours at Big O tire getting my tire replaced.  And today, after promising the girls a picnic at the park and rallying them in the car, my car (ahem, minivan) battery is dead.  Kaput.  Finito.  "Sorry girls, no park or picnic today...let's go back inside."

THAT went over well.

What have I learned from all this?  That November is just not my month!  Last November my daughter was hospitalized for a life threatening infection and I was notoriously handcuffed at Nordstrom.  And the November before that?  Worst of my life.  Luckily in comparison stomach flus and a couple of broken down cars seem so irrelevant!

But they still made good inspiration for my song.

Check out Frick & Frack in the background.  Seriously is there anything one does that the other does not?! :)

Halloween: Third Time's (not) a Charm

We celebrated Halloween not one, not two, but THREE times this year.  Maybe next year if we decide to celebrate so many times we will choose costumes that do not require hair dye.  That made for a lot of baths and hair washing and turned our (new) tub a nice shade of blue.  But their costumes this year would not have been complete without the bright blue hair!

After the 1st Halloween event, the girls were a little reluctant to take candy from strangers.  After the 2nd one, they were starting to take the candy and hand it to us to open it.  After the 3rd time, they were pushing their way through doorways and grabbing candy from the bowls of the poor homeowners instead of waiting to have it placed in their bag, and then devouring it (wrapper included) immediately.

*For the sake of my readers and for anyone who participated in Halloween events with us, including members of our family who still need to be included in this side note:

THING 1 = LILLY; THING 2 = DIANA.

Halloween Event #1:

There was a nice event called Halloween @ Central Green to promote mayoral candidate Terry Seitz.  This was trial #1 of the girls' Halloween costumes, which included a nice coat of blue hair dye.  Unsure of how true the claim of "easy to wash out" really was, we decided to only spray the girls' ponytails.  How cute are Thing 1 and Thing 2??

Thing 1 = Lilly

Thing 2 = Diana

They are totally not in the Halloween spirit yet and think we are cruelest parents on earth.
(FYI, the doormat is that of my parents...we realize our last name is not Seger.)

Tyler, Alyssa, Haley, Caleb, Thomas, Di, Lil, Lexi, Allie, James and Lila

Thank you to Maureen for her perfect ironing skills without which Thing 1 & Thing 2 might not exist!

"So let me get this straight, all I have to do is dye my hair blue and I will get candy?  This is great!"

Halloween Event #2:

The day before Halloween we decided to dress the girls again and make our rounds to family.  Our 1st stop was GG Burger's house where we got to see our aunt Joyce and cousin Anne who were visiting from Arizona.  We opted to wait until after their naps to dye their hair blue.

GG Burger with Addie, Ellie, Diana and Lilly.  How cute is my 94 year old grandmother??

Anne with Lilly, Diana and Addie

After naps and with knowledge that blue hair dye really does easily wash out, Matt decided to go crazy on their hair prior to visiting GG Lila, Becky & Scott, and Mimi & Bapa.  The best part about this hair round was that Diana starting pointing to Lilly's hair and laughing and we were like, "you idiot, your hair is blue too!"

Lilly getting (un)beautified! 

"Mom, you're not really serious that my hair is blue, right??"

Thing 1 planting some kisses on Thing 2.

Their hair was really rockin' this night.

Lilly, Di, Thomas, GG Lila, James, Addie, Lila, and Ellie

Halloween Event #3:

Finally, Halloween actually arrived!  Unfortunately, Matt had gone so crazy with the blue hair dye the night before that we ran out.  I made a trip to Walmart and GASP!, all blue hair dye was gone!!  Luckily Matt was in Bloomington for work so he managed to run to 3 places and finally found some blue hair dye.  Sadly, it was not the quality of our old bottle and just did not live up to our standards, so we made a last ditch effort to find some at CVS.  They, too, were out of this apparent popular color.  We were really hoping to perfect our dye skills on this 3rd night, but our dreams were shattered and we had to settle for mediocre Things 1 & 2.  Fortunately, the girls were unfazed and had such a fun time walking from house to house getting candy.  Diana insisted on eating every single piece of candy she received the second she received it...which explains why she ended up puking about 50 times beginning at 2am.  Sigh. 

Despite our blue hair mishap, two kids on major sugar highs, and one leaving remnants of her day's food intake all over her crib, blankie, sheets and 12 towels...we had a great time celebrating the girls' 2nd Halloween!!

Look who made an appearance...Cat in the Hat (aka, daddy!)

Molly, Grif, Thomas, Addie, Lila, Di, Lil, Cooper

Look at Thing 1 & Thing 2 making their way through the crowd!

Happy Halloween ya'll!!

HOLY GIANT MOSES!

I grabbed my old camera last night to take with me to the pumpkin patch and turned it on to find THIS staring back at me!!  I don't know why I even bothered smiling.   And really?  The peace sign?  Yeah right.

According to the terbutaline pump in hand, this was right after hospital bedrest while on strict bedrest at home.   I think I was something like 72 weeks pregnant.  GOOD GAWD!!!!!!!

Blogging rut

This is the 1st post I've made in 5 weeks, but who's counting?  I have dug myself such a deep blogging hole that I really didn't know how to escape. I'd sit at my computer, start to type, and all that would come to mind was "duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

So much has happened in these past 5 weeks...to name a few, Matt has gone on 3 guys trips (but again, who's counting?), coached his 1st season of 4th grade football'ers, I embarked on a girls trip of my own to Charleston, the girls have managed to be sick about 1,000 days in a row, we met our new niece Leah, hit up one IU football game, made a trip to Indy to walk in the Light the Night fundraising event for Leukemia, said goodbye (one final time) to our old babysitter Elaine, lost and then reunited with Lilly's beloved 'blankie', and unpacked, organized, arranged, rearranged, de-cluttered, cluttered, decorated and adjusted to our new house and our new life here in Jasper.

As far as the move, it has definitely been a big adjustment for our family and one that I might not have properly envisioned.  Since I grew up in Jasper, I assumed that I would just sort of blend right back in to where I left off 15 years ago.  But 15 years ago I was single and had just graduated high school.  Since then I've worked, lived in Indy, lived in DC, became a wife and mother.  In other words, I've matured.  I never had to be mature in Jasper (evidenced by my two misdemeanors) so finding mature things to do (aka...mom activities) has been hard!  I miss the Children's Museum and zoo and parks and mall and Target.  And then there's the living-here-without-my-parents thing, which has sometimes felt unbearable.  Emotions I never could have prepared for.  Stupid grieving.  And I really miss the food.  I mean REALLY REALLY miss the food.  Now I actually have to cook and become a real housewife.  Ick.

As a trade-off for all of that, however, I now have the company of family.  The sole reason we moved back in the 1st place.  Lilly and Diana have cousins to play with and they are happy and outgoing and wild and crazy and sweet and cute and innocent.  They are thriving, and that makes me happy.

It's been a while since I've described the personalities of the girls.  Here I go:

Diana:  sweet
Lilly:  sassy

That about sums it up!

In case you missed the 1st year and a half of this blog, you may not know that this has been a complete swap in personalities.  Matt and I have said that this is Lilly's world and we are just living in it.  You would agree had you been in Elder Beerman today.  However, it's impossible not to love such a strong personality, although Diana might think otherwise!  She is often being hit, pushed, and robbed of toys.  But Lilly can do just about anything she puts her mind to.  She repeats about any word I ask her to, and when she is trying to accomplish a task, she will keep trying until she masters it.  She is one determined little chic!

Diana on the other hand is sweet and nurturing and easy-going, au contraire to her 1st year of life!  She is often found 'feeding' her baby or giving her baby kisses or reading books or stacking blocks.  She cuddles with me and is the BEST mother's helper!!  She brings me diapers and wipes and cleans up her toys.  Only on a couple of occasions have I made her do the laundry.  Her favorite thing to do is give us "10 kisses."  And she makes the cutest funny faces!

If I could use two other words to describe the girls, they would be:

Diana:  Lauren
Lilly:  Matt

That's right...my mother-in-law would agree, and I am pretty sure my mom would as well.  :)

Some of their favorite words right now are:  please (peeze), thank you (dant do), paci (passsssseeee), pizza pizza (yes, "pizza pizza" not just "pizza"), ball, Bapa, fly (fwy), babci (bashi), Court, Leah (Yeeyah), dog (God), Addie, water, pumpkin (kin.)  It drives me nuts when they keep referring to Reagan as "God."  She is a dog.  Not a God.  She already has enough issues....

Alas, here are some recent pics of my pumpkin-heads.  I will try not to escape for so long next time.

This game was cute at 1st until they started running into things...and head 1st into each other.

Always a fixture at the boys' tennis matches!  Go 'bur!!

All 4 cousins...getting so big!!

I love it...I can now ask them to smile for the camera and this is what they did!

Picking up leaves.  Topless of course.

These wagon rides never get old! 

Daddy and his girls at the Light the Night Walk for Leukemia.

Saying farewell to Elaine before she leaves (for good) to go back home to Brazil!  She will be missed! 

I turned around and caught Lil building this.  Seriously smarty pants! 

Tending to daddy's grassy knoll while he was out of town.

Lilly stealing Diana's play-doh.  Obviously.