When I blogged about what I miss most about my dad, I said the way he made life seem so simple. So what do I miss most about my mom? I tried to ponder this thought over the past couple of days, and really I couldn't pick just one. I miss EVERYTHING about her. I really do. I not only lost my mom, the person I depended on, but I also lost a friend. I could call her about funny stuff, serious stuff, irrelevant stuff, etc. I miss her smile and her laugh...both of which were genuine to the core.
It might sound bizarre, but this year I somehow feel closer to my mom than ever. I never was able to relate to her as a mother when she was alive as I never became one until she was gone. But this past month, as I was digging around in the attic for her old Christmas stuff, using most of it to decorate her (now my) home, while listening to her favorite Christmas music (Michael Buble and Dean Martin), wrapping presents in the kitchen (using her old wrapping paper), watching my kids play around me, fire on, and cookies in the oven...I felt her all around me. I felt the same thrill and satisfaction of buying my kids their favorite toys, and then getting to watch their happy faces as they ripped into them on Christmas morning. And then I set up her dining room table as she would to host Christmas morning brunch, a tradition that dates back to when I was a little girl. It's not that I was doing these things in remembrance of her; it's that I am finally entering the stage of life that her and I never were able to bond over. Granted, I was surrounded by all of her stuff! But, I am proud that almost daily I catch myself doing something that makes me say, "Wow, I am definitely my mother's daughter!" There is no one I would rather be.
Before my mom died she gave us one piece of advice and that was to not take life so seriously. So mom, how's this for starters....
You, on the other hand, seemed to have had it down pat 30 years ago. That comes as no surprise.
I miss you daily and dearly. You would be proud of the 'man bag' that Matt got for Christmas this year. And thanks to Krista, my girls received a gift from you, a cupcake set that you had given 2 of to Addie. Court was gifted many fabulous things, and I remembered the bakery cookie to give to Steph for her birthday. We all learned way more from you than you ever knew. Thank you for teaching us the important things in life.
