During the past couple of days, all of our friends gathered for meals and drinks. We had a very tight group of friends from high school, one that I have been told is rare. Many of these people I see all of the time, some of them I hadn't seen in years. But as we gathered, it felt as if just yesterday we were back in high school. We told plenty of Jobe stories and reminisced about our crazy high school days. It was therapeutic on so many levels. Since my own parents have passed, I feel myself sometimes wanting to hide instead of engage...I just thought that was the easier thing to do rather than being faced with people who don't know what to say. But over the course of these past few days, as I "shot the shit" with my old friends, I found myself laughing and smiling and thoroughly enjoying everyone's company. I even talked to the son of my dad's best friend for a very long time and HE told ME how therapeutic it was for HIM to talk to ME! I hadn't thought of it from another's perspective, how plenty of people knew (and loved) my parents and that by talking to me, I might allow them to heal. It was a lesson I learned.
So last night I spent reflecting on all of this. And here is what kept popping up. Less than a month ago one of my good high school friends got married. It was a wedding that Jobe was also attending. Matt and I decided not to go to the wedding because it was out of town and we would need to arrange babysitters and so on so forth. I was bummed we were missing it, but I shrugged my shoulders and called it a day. We chose not to reunite with my old friends. But less than a month later, we ended up reuniting with everyone at a much more somber occasion. I made it a priority to go to the funeral. Nothing could have stopped me from attending. However, I should have also made it a priority to go to the wedding. It could have been another memory added to the long list of memories I already have of Jobe, but instead I was 'too tired' to put forth the effort to make that weekend happen.
Now don't get me wrong, I know that not every single decision in my head needs to be controlled by the thought of "what if that is the last time I see this person?" Although my track record with this probably allows me to ask this more often than not. However, I realize that we can't possibly do EVERYTHING that comes across our calendar, but what I don't want to do is be stuck in a bitter battle as to whether it is worth the effort of finding babysitters, packing, and traveling vs. spending a fun evening celebrating with friends. It's a no-brainer, and the next time I'm faced with this decision, I will most certainly pick the latter.
To my friend, Jobe, you will be missed good buddy.
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| This pic is an oldie but goodie from my friend Shannon's wedding in 2004. Jobe is back left. |
